Just Me

You are God, but I am me.
You are God, though I want to be.
You mastermind the workings of the universe.
I stupidly try to interfere.
You count down the months till the doe gives birth,
I hold out to you my self destruction.
You smile and say "give it here."
Then, because you can't fix it fast enough,
I grab it back and hold on tight.
Maybe this time God, it's too much.
You smile and say,
"Try as you might, you won't get it right.
I give orders to the morning,
I show the dawn it's place.
By my command the eagle takes off soaring
and finds a safe place to rest at night.
I've counted every hair on your head,
Your name is engraved upon my palms.
But you choose to trust yourself instead."

And after I'm exhausted and my anger has subsided,
after my self loathing and the nagging and the chiding,
I realize that you are God. And I am just me.

Dear Lord, you patiently wait for me. You are always there, loving me in the midst of my stubbornness. You see the creation you formed & are forming and you are delighted. Even before I fall before you. You are delighted. Even while I push you aside. You are delighted. Even while I curse my circumstance, you are delighted. And you wait. And you wait. And you love. And you guide me back to you. And enfold me in you arms, under the safety of your wings. Where I should have been all along.