Just A Little Time

I've begun complaining to God about all the waiting I've been enduring. Not only is there waiting for the adventure He has been hinting at (of which He's still not telling me of), but the weather won't even give me a break or offer me hope - except in small rare teasing moments. In response, He's laid it on my heart to cease posting for the next two weeks. I guess I'm in trouble now - He wants to show me a few things, I think, so all my distractions must be put aside. It's going to be a tough two weeks!

I'll check back in April 6th, then again the Monday after Easter to start posting again.

I hope you all have a very meaningful Easter.

Warm Sunny Spring Morning

Life Popping Up

Well, I'll Post This Now & Get It Over With

Don't get your hopes up too much, (and don't chortle with evil joy over this either), but I'm afraid I must admit that I'm about to eat crow.

Gone are my anti-exercising posts (although I still stand by my convictions). I'm only exercising because the doctor and Physical Therapist (why did I just capitalize that - he's nothin' special) won't do anything else for me. Like prescribe the good drugs, or prescribe weekly massages. All that is left to do is, heaven help me - again, exercise. And I am trying to be a Proverb's 31 wife (okay, you don't need to roll your eyes at that - I'm partly serious) in supporting my husbands flawed views of exercise. He's got it into his head to jog for 30 minutes. And he wants me there. So I sit and watch him go round and round the track. JUST KIDDING! I walk it. The kids run around in the middle. I also have taken my tennis racket and balls (for some reason, and perhaps it is the late hour, writing balls makes me giggle), and practice my serving or hitting the balls against the wall. This is actually very difficult and sadly, I get more exercise chasing after my balls than I do in hitting them. That's because the fence they put up is not tall enough. Anyway, by mid-summer I should be ready to take on the beginner tennis player. Does anyone want to play tennis with me?

And an update on my muscle tenderness/pain issue. For the past couple of months I've had some relief! I don't know why this is - and NO, I don't think exercise has anything to do with it. Although, I'm going to have Hubby pump up my big green (or is it blue?) yoga ball for me. (Don't judge - of course I have a yoga ball - who doesn't?) Perhaps I'll follow the exercise instruction sheets Dean,the PTist, gave me before I quit going.

So, expect to see winged pigs in the near future and to hear a rumor that the evil underworld is getting much nipplier. For I have started to exercise.

I still don't like it.

Waiting For The Next Post From China

Maybe I'll just stay up till Flamingo Mamma or Wuxi Mommy post next - should be in a couple hours. They don't need to sleep in do they? This isn't vacation! They have an obligation to me!

Time is tickin away.
Time is tickin.

Oh, sorry, DC Talk just sang in my head.

For Don Miller Fans ...

... Blue Like Jazz is becoming a movie! Check out an interview on Christianity Today's website HERE.

Yes, I'm still up and writing. I know I know, I should be in bed sleeping - especially since I haven't had good sleep for the past few nights and I'm getting really cranky & everytime I hear "MOMMY!" I cringe and want to shoot myself. That and the word "Ain't".

Anyway, I'm sure the movie won't be as good as the book. Rarely are they. But I just thought it was funny that it was going on the big screen. Well, probably not around here.

Camping Season '09

Ahhhhh, the good 'ol days of camping - how I miss them!

Yes, indeed that is a wild mountain bear right next to our Seapine Pop-up Camper. That was the trip Sista D and I spotted the biggest elk we've ever seen. I kept calling it a moose. Me and Hubby heard the thing itching it's antlers on the apple tree & chomping away on apples right next to our Seapine Pop-up Camper one night. Thank goodness it had no desire to file it's antlers on our screen windows. Or canvas walls.

Then Sings My Soul

Overcast, cold, dreary, & sputtering droplets - that describes Stump Woods today. But also something else. Optimistic bird chatter - in surround sound. Green shoots of flower life - popping up here and there. And a whispered promise that life is just under the surface and about to burst through to transform the bare & tired landscape. My feathered friends are more patient than me. They are enjoying the here and now. I am having a hard time staying content with this waiting.

While I spent some time outside this morning, God reminded me of an old hymn we used to sing at church. And it helped give me perspective, it gave me hope, and enabled me to see God in the dreariness. I'll write the words because they are so beautiful.

How Great Thou Art

Oh Lord, my God, When I in awesome wonder,

Consider all the worlds Thy hands have Made;

I see the stars,

I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy pow'r through-out

The universe displayed.

When thru the woods

and forest glades I wander,

And hear the birds

sing sweetly in the trees;

When I look down

from lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook

and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think

that God, His son not sparing,

sent Him to die,

I scarce can take it in;

That on the cross

my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died

To take away my sin.

When Christ shall come

With shout of acclamation

And take me home

What joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow

In humble adoration,

And there proclaim,

"My God, how great Thou Art!"

Chorus:

Then sings my soul,

My Savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul,
My Savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!

For thus says the LORD, Who created the heavens, Who is God, Who formed the earth and made it, Who has established it, Who did not create it in vain, Who formed it to be inhabited: "I am the Lord, and there is no other." Isaiah 45:18

Where Would You Go?

It still seems really weird that I have a blog in which all I do is talk about myself. It seems a selfish thing to do & I hope I don't do this in "real" life! So, for my 3 readers who comment every now and then (and for Sista D who has yet to comment but who is trying to), I want to hear from YOU! And perhaps, if I have a non-commenting reader besides Sista D, I could pull you out of the shadows too. I'd love to hear from you!

So answer this question (this time, to make you comfortable, I'll start with a non-invasive question): Where would you go that you haven't gone before if you could spend a couple weeks on vacation?

I'd go to Ireland, Scotland, England (hmmm, as my kids would say, "I see a pattern"). I'd also love to go to Italy. But I'd start at Ireland, they tell good stories there and you know me - I love a good story!

Ain't Ain't A Word

The kid has gotten into a bad habit. I guess it's another downfall of living in Redneckville. Hurricane EE is now the victim of bad language. He is constantly saying "ain't" instead of "isn't" and it is driving me crazy. I remember teachers constantly correcting kids on the foul usage of that word. Remember, I've attended this hick school distict since the 2nd half of 3rd grade. It still surprises me that EE would take to the word so easily.

Heaven help me. If Little Miss falls as an easy victim too, I'm going to pull my hair out. It's one thing to be a redneck, but do you have to talk like one too?

Oh, by the way, I love this school district! I'm not kidding! Despite the stabbings and shootings and all the drug usage, I'm happy we're part of this school system.

Old Friends

Because my family moved around a lot, it was hard keeping friends when I was a kid. My hubby still is close with his friend from kindergarten. My mom is still good friends with a woman she grew up with. But God has provided great friends every step of the way in my life. Most I'll never talk to or see again. But a couple have been recycled from the good ol' days.

Like Minista Sista. Our families were friends growing up. Her dad got my mom & dad together. Both our dads are pastors. So from time to time, from the early years on, we'd get to go to each other's houses. You can tell who was the bad one from this picture. I'm still the bad one! She was always the more intelligent, stylish, and beautiful of us two. But I was older. It was always our argument - "I'm older!" "Well I'm taller!" I'm only older by 2 months, whereas she was taller by a few more inches - she could wear the kind of shoes I always dreamed of having, only my feet were too narrow and worthless to fit into them properly so my mom never bought me any. Obviously I'm still sore about it to this day.

Minista Sista's name is also Stylin' Sista because she has such a great talent at creating cool spaces & putting outfits together. Speedracer Sista can't go shopping without her anymore. She has a great eye for putting a room together and doing so on a budget. If I had money for a budget - I'd hire her and Sista D to come to my house. Also I could use the organizational services of Speedracer Sista. But until my theory on money trees proves correct & productive, I'm afraid I have nothing to work with! (I don't have a theory on growing money trees, I'm just pulling your leg.)

Anyway, in highschool Minista Sista (so aptly named due to her love of theology) & I didn't get the opportunity to visit with eachother much. She lived over the river and through the woods. And I didn't get my driver's license till I was an old 18 year old. Then things went by fast after meeting my hubby & it was because of Sista Wild Child, who married into her family, that we started getting together on a more regular basis. Sista Wild Child started a bible study and invited us two to be part of it - Sista W.C. didn't even know we knew eachother! I can't believe how God brought back my good ol' friend from the Hartman Street days! He is in the details of our lives isn't he?

It just amazes me that I have a good friend who knew me from before we started kindergarten and that she and I are still good friends to this day. We've got history together. It's comforting to have a friend who you share history with. Who knows your roots.

You Did WHAT With Vick's Vapor Rub?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret (of which you probably already know because I tend to be the last to find out about all the cool stuff). It has to do with Vicks Vapor Rub and it's medicinal qualities. I received an email from nursing friend Kori a few months back telling me about how to quiet a child's night time coughing. (Here's where you lower your inside head reading voice cause it's so amazing). You put VVR on their feet and then cover them up with socks! Believe it or not, after a few minutes the coughing quiets. Two nights ago I put some on Little Miss' feet, and it worked. Now, last night I left the duty to hubby and I don't believe he put enough on (he probably didn't like the feel of it) because although it definitely helped, it didn't help completely. Tonight I'm going to resume the responsibility and apply a generous amount to her heals and soles. She has a croupy type cough too, so don't think it won't work for the really bad coughs. Google VVR on feet, you'll find websites that report this.

Could Vicks Vapor Rub quite possibly be the world's first true cure-all?

Now, go smear your feet.

You Gotta Read This Book

Now, you mommies probably have already read these books to your kiddos - but I'm going to put in a free plug for my new favorite kid book anyway. And for those who enjoy funny wit with a Spanish twang, you would enjoy these books too - with or without kids! I love the Skippyjon Jones books by Judith Bryon Schachner. I probably get more joy out of reading the books than my kids do hearing me read the books! I love using my natural Spanish accent. Click on the above highlighted name to go to the website.

You Know Your A Redneck If ...

... Your kids come home from school smelling like the freshly fertilized fields that surround the school.

And the smell penetrates their cloths.

And the sofa.

And around here the fertilizer of choice is human waste.

It Feels Like Hope

Last night I asked God to wake me up with a song playing in my head. Sometimes he does this for me & I love it. The song might be an old hymn or a song I've heard on the radio. And I have no control over what he chooses - I didn't have it stuck in my head the night before or even have heard the song recently. I just wake up & after a bit I realize I have a song playing in my head, that I've been worshiping the Lord without even really being conscience about it!

So last night I asked God to do that again. I woke this morning with thoughts all over the place, like usual. I swear, I wish I had that empty box the men have where they are able to think of NOTHING. I really don't understand this phenomenon, but I WANT IT! I may not be the most talkative person to other people - but to myself I can't shut-up. Anyway, after a bit this morning, I became aware that in the background of my running thoughts, a song was playing! (You know it's bad when you have layers of thoughts running through your head. I guess most women are like this!).

It was a song by Natalie Grant about hope returning. The chorus kept running through my head. It goes something like this:

Hope has a way of sneaking up on you

just when you least expect it

You look outside your window

and something's there

something's there

It's been a long time since you felt it

but it feels like it might be hope.

I can't remember exactly the wording, but that's the gist of it - that's what kept running through my head in the background and is now stuck in there playing over and over again. And I am just so tickled that God would pick THIS song. There is hope sneaking up on us - just look at my Hyacinth's that are blooming already! And on a more deeper level, I kind of feel like God is reminding me that He's going to take care of me and my family in this very uncertain time for us.

I panicked a week or so ago & questioned if there even was a God, and if there was, what makes me think that he would divinely intervene? I know the bible & those verses that promises he takes care of us - but what if he has another, more painful way of answering our prayers? He's God, he found pleasure in the crucifixion. And that was JESUS - part of the trinity. You can see how my thoughts went round and round. Thank goodness for Chuck Swindol and Sista Wild Child.

Anyway, I don't know what's going to happen in a week, a month, a year from now. But there IS hope. And I DO know that God is real & that he is good. I know that doesn't mean only happy things will happen to us, but it does mean that he won't abandon us. If you talk to me next week, I might be back at that place where I question God's involvement, even his existence. But just give me time, he & I always work through it.

Grunts, Groans, & Shruggings

This is how I pray now.

Ever since I read 1/2 of Philip Yancey's book on prayer I've not been able to get a clear thought through to the Holy Spirit! Thank goodness He interprets pretty well. I use His services a lot. I find that I pray at the most humiliating times. What must the angels think of me? My bathtub has become an alter - my toilet, my wailing wall. My window is my leaning post - most of the smudges come from my greasy forehead and not from the kids fingers.

I like this though, this new way of talking to Him. I'm beginning to realize that I don't know what I want & I don't know what He wants - so I don't know what to pray. Sometimes I don't talk. Or groan. Or grunt. Or shrug. I do those things when I pray for people.

So I guess maybe you wouldn't want me to pray for you. Because there is NO guarantee how the Holy Spirit is going to interpret them.

When I Was A Kid ...

... I got my tongue stuck on the metal stair railing leading up a metal sliding board - at recess, just as the bell rang to go in - in Vermont - during a cold winter day.

"Jethica, Jethica!" I call to out to my friend (Jessica) as coherently as possible. "My tongue ith thuck, MY TONGUE ITH THUCK!" I couldn't move without the thing pulling my tongue a part - but what's a girl to do? I already peed my pants on the see-saw a few months before - now this! The southern girl does it again - makes a laughing stock out of herself! Obviously my friend ran, who could be caught with such a fool? Tears run down my face. Why didn't anyone tell me this could happen? I saw a beautiful snowflake land on the metal and wondered at it's unmelting perfection - it was calling out to me.

I ripped my tongue off (off the metal I mean - my tongue was mostly intact), along with my bland-sensitive tastebuds (that's why, to this day, I must eat really sweet things). The playground wardens just shook their heads at me. It really wasn't too surprising to them. I walked into the school alone. But free. And with a war wound.

Sacred Haven

Sacred Haven -
this simple life.
Silken cocoon -
I'm safely wrapped inside.

A warm quiet womb
that cradles a beginning.
The Creator whispers
His promises to me.

And I am waiting.

Cute Kid Quote

In response to Little Miss' inquisitve question, "How did you hear that?" Hurricane EE, quiet & proud-like answered, "I've got 20/20 hearing."

Wrapping It Up

Okay, time to wrap this emerging topic up so that I can go back to less draining subjects!



The emergent movement is also in response to the the postmodern movement. Simply put, the postmodern church is comprised of people of all faiths & beliefs. Jesus is not seen as God's son. This viewpoint is tolerant of everybody & all walks of life. And so since the postmodern viewpoint has become popular within our culture, the leaders of the emerging movement sought to have it's flavor but with a more biblical basis. This is what I've read & understand from my research.



I've met with my dad today & we had a wonderful discussion of all this and more. Dad said that the christain church has always been like a pendulum, for many years it will be on one side, then swing to the other for a few decades. The key is to keep in mind the 5 fundamentals of the christain church:

*The Trinity
*The Second Coming
*Jesus is 100% God & 100% man
*Salvation - Jesus took our sin upon Himself (substitutionary atonement of the cross)
*Scripture - inerrant & sufficient

I guess the reason for my sudden interest in the emerging movement is to try to figure out where I stand, to see if what I've been incorporating into my life & spiritual practises for the past couple of years is something that is good and godly, something that will help draw me closer to the Lord, not something that might lead me down a slippery slope, away from the Lord. I've been blessed with an Evangelical, bible-believing upbringing. I am indebted to my parents, pastors, Sunday school teachers, and mentors for all that I have learned & all my growth. I think that some of the shortcomings of my upbringing have created in me a leery concern for new ways of growing in the Lord. I have always been taught that you can't measure your relationship with the Lord through your emotions, to not rely on emotions. Emotions come & go. But I took that too far & when I started to experience unstoppable emotion (I could barely sing a worship song without sobbing!), I was highly uncomfortable and embarrassed & I kind of felt guilty for giving into such emotion. Now I realize that although I shouldn't depend on emotion & feeling to measure my relationship with the Lord, that God created emotion & feeling, He deems it as good, we were created in his image after-all, and he uses it to help us grow closer to him. The tools that I've learned in the past year - lectio divina, comtemplative prayer, writing in a spiritual journal, spiritual direction - have all been good. I've grown so much, I've experienced the love of God. Bible study & intersessory prayer alone do not make a complete picture. I think it is in this way that the emerging church has incorporated a good thing - they have reintroduced practises from long ago.

My main concern for the emerging church is that although the leaders have had evangelical backgrounds, hopefully good bible foundations, that the new believers coming into the church probably in all likelihood don't. And so what are they going to do about that? It's highly important to have a well fortified biblical foundation. Sure, teaching spiritual practices, growing in spirituality is wonderful and important, but if you don't have a core knowledge of the bible you won't know what's right and what's wrong. Pastor Steve Cornell of the Millersville Bible Church wrote, "When believers are not firmly grounded in biblical truth, they vacillate like susceptible children who constantly change their minds about what they believe because someone has told them different." And if leaders teach that the Bible isn't inerrant, that we can't depend on the language because it wasn't written for this time & for this culture, than there's a world of hurt going on, and many people will be led away.

Nothing new is under the sun and it's all about a truthful balance. That's the moral of these posts.

Where I found my info:
* thinkerup.blogspot.com
* emergentvillage.com
* lighthousetrailsresearch.com
* wikipedia.org
* an artical called Five Streams Of The Emerging Church by Scot McKnight (Christianity Today Magazine)
* Millersville Bible Church
* gatheringinlight.com

Emergent Church 101 - (As I Understand It)

I feel like I'm back in school writing a research paper on something that is way over my head! And just as in the olden days, I hope I can comprehend enough of it to make it look like I know what I'm writing about! I plan on avoiding deep descriptions on theological terms - if you need more info, your best option is to do some research yourself! I wouldn't depend on my brain to bring forth a thorough explanation on big 50 cent words and theology.

It's important to keep in mind the wide range of viewpoints held within the christian church. In my mind, at one end of the spectrum is a legalistic viewpoint, at the opposite end is a postmodern ideology (go to Millersville Bible Church's website under featured articles on the right hand side for a good explanation of the postmodern church). And there's a wide mix in between. It's the same within the emerging circle, a diverse range of viewpoints and beliefs. It would be a big mistake to lump all emergents into one category, to say that one thing goes for all. But unfortunately, many have made that mistake, and in my opinion, are missing out on some great teaching - teaching which is often not new! A lot has been taken from the early church.

This is a movement, or "conversation", that has really gained popularity towards the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st centuries. Many in this circle have conservative evangelical backgrounds but have been turned off by what they saw & experienced. They feel that the way the church studied the bible was very much a formulaic way, reducing the bible to more of a self help book instead of a narrative, historical, poetical, book that is all about God's love and redemption. They felt that the church didn't do enough to reach out to the community around them. Worship and prayer was too limited. And they have a big problem with power positions. "Emerging Christians began to challenge the modern church on issues such as: institutional structures, systematic theology, propositional teaching methods, a perceived preoccupation with buildings, an attractional understanding of mission, professional clergy, and a perceived preoccupation with the political process and unhelpful jargon ("Christian-ese") - Wikipedia.

So what did the emergent leaders do about this? They formed a movement that has more of a holistic approach. Missions is a huge element. Wikipedia quoted John Franke saying, "The Church of Jesus Christ is not the goal of the Gospel, just the instrument of the extension of God's mission. The Church has been slow to recognize that missions isn't a program the Church administers, it is the very core of the Church's reason for being." Readers,in your church experiences growing up, how would your church have welcomed a couple who just walked into the church for the 1st time, holding hands, and lets add some spice to this, let's say they were gay? Would this couple have been shunned out in a most "godly" way? Or would they have been welcomed warmly like any new couple? Missions in this movement is getting down into the trenches, reaching the marginalize, just like Jesus did. Social activism and reaching out to their community is key. Worship is very diverse too including arts, drama, music, spiritual direction practices...so on and so forth. Sometimes the emergent church is referred to the "Ancient-Future church" because it incorporates historic church practices including lectio divina, prayer beads, liturgy, labyrinth, and icons.

And as far as their view of the bible itself - emergents are varied widely on thought and theology. It has been criticized that those in the movement have a watered down view of the bible. Many believe that Christ didn't die on the cross to take our sin upon himself, (a penal substitutionary atonement of Christ), but only that his dying demonstrated how far his love for us reaches. One guy named Dale made this comment on the thinkerup blog, "It is a clear message of a loving God who allows Himself to be victimized by sinners, in order to demonstrate to them that he is willing to forgive them of their worst possible atrocities against him." Their problem with the atonement idea is that it wrongfully shows a vengeful, hateful God, instead of a loving good God. Some view the bible needs to be reinterpreted for today's culture. "All of this debate is built on the assumption that language is reliable. No one is throwing out the cross just reading it differently - as a model for sacrificial love. The fact of the matter is, language is problematic. Meaning is obscured by vocal inflection, hyperbole, inside jokes, and the distance of the other cultural particulars. And someone will certainly suggest that this is why we have hermeneutics. However, keep in mind that this is still a product of the modern mind, attempting to extract meaning from texts written at a particular time, for a particular culture, and deals with the abstraction of cosmology" - Shawn Young.

Mark Driscoll summed it up in a clear way, "...I eventually had to distance myself from the Emergent stream of the network because friends like Brian McLaren and Doug Pagitt began pushing a theological agenda that greatly troubled me. Examples include referring to God as a chick, questioning God's sovereignty over and knowledge of the future, denial of the substitutionary atonement at the cross, a low view of Scripture, and denial of hell which is one hell of a mistake."

My shoulder is now telling me it's time to stop writing. And here's a good place to do so. But readers - I'm not finished yet! When I continue this I want write on my thoughts about this emerging movement, what I am incorporating into my life, what my church is incorporating in it's practices and teachings, and a concern I have for those in this movement as well as for my church.

A Good Comment

Oh please, let this work. A link to Steve Cornell's comment & critique of the Emerging movement. It's good, so let this work this time! Just scroll down to the comments and find his, it's a bit lengthy but it's easy to understand. And I trust his opinion - he seems fair. But I'm still going to write on this movement later.

Still Here - Still Thinkin

It takes this 'ole girl a while to get a coherent thought on issues that take some brain power to understand. So that's why I haven't written part 2 of the emergent/emerging church as quickly as I would have liked. I'm still formulating my approach. It's a touchy subject - I mean people really get riled up when it comes to personal beliefs! So I want to make sure I'm a somewhat neutral party in reporting my finds, although, I'll bless my readers with a few of my opinions to be sure - it is my blog after all. But I would never want to step on anybody's toes - unless circumstances dictate I should do so. According to my little brother, I have an evil side (who I call Dr. Jekyll).

But anyway, I didn't want you thinking I forgot my promise - I know how much you all are looking forward to this post so I will make sure I won't let you down! I've been very preoccupied with thoughts on this subject for the past couple of weeks now - I can't seem to shut myself up. I will need to spew it out soon - I feel it building up! But to do so now would result in total confusion for my brain is fried with all this thinking. Plus I took allergy medication. Plus I ventured into the big city again today, the first time since our disastrous trip to the Sam's Club. So I'm not good for anything right now. All I want is a good book to read and a glass of wine. But I swore off books for a couple months and I don't have any wine in the house at the moment. (I would never swear off wine) Hot tea is as good as it gets, that and the Bible. I think I'll just go to bed.

If You Need A Laugh

Are you down? Sad? Angry? Frustrated? Depressed? Irritated? Bloated?

Then you need a little pick me up from Flight Of The Conchords. Click on that title and it will take you to youtube - you'll learn about the "Issues".

I love these guys!

Boogie Man Evidence

I have always believed in the boogie man. Now I have evidence. For some reason I decided to scrub my walls today - I really don't know what got into me. And guess what I came across? Crusty green boogies. Apparently the boogie man roams our halls (hall I mean - I only have one hall) and rooms at night coating our walls with his slimy slippery skin where it is found by me - months, years later, in it's hardened crusty fossilized state. And somehow he even rides around in our car too for I have found the damning evidence there as well!

Surrender - A Sacrament Of Waiting?

I know I'm not the only one who is in a season of waiting. I have a couple friends who are waiting to get the "okay" from China to travel there and take their daughters home. I have a dear friend who has waited a few years to have a child of her own. And my husband is waiting to see if the trade he's learned and practised for 15 years will die sooner rather than later. It's hard to just stand by and wait. What happens in the waiting? At first thought we think that nothing happens, or very little does. We say that God is stretching us, helping us to become more patient, enabling us to depend on him - perhaps in this way we can incorporate some kind of spiritual growth into it, making this tension-filled time seem a little more worthwhile.

But does God allow us to wait just to teach us how to be patient? If that's the case, I'll be stuck in the waiting for a VERY long time! (don't get any ideas Lord!)

For me personally, and during this particular waiting, God's been active. He hasn't been silent. He's been working in my heart, opening & deepening it, preparing it for whatever he has for me next. He's been asking me to be willing to surrender. Surrender my comfort, my routine, my simplicity of life, my haven, my solid ground, my false assumption that I can grow the spiritual lives of my loved ones. He reminds me that I have his promise, a promise he has given his children from Abraham on - that I am in his embrace and will forever be in his embrace, that my husband & kids are his too - and it is he who will complete his good work in them, as in me. This life is an adventure, and when we open ourselves up to it we will be amazed.

I read this poem by Macrina Wiederkehr on Deb's blog and I can't remember if I copied it here in my blog a couple months back. Oh well, it still resonates with me ~ probably even more so now.

Waiting

Slowly,
she celebrated the sacrament of letting go
first she surrendered her green
then the orange, yellow and red
finally she let go of her brown
shedding her last leaf
she stood empty and silent, stripped bare.
leaning against the winter sky
she began her vigil of trust.

Shedding her last leaf
she watched it's journey to the ground.
she stood in silence
wearing the color of the emptiness,
her branches wondering:
how do you give shade with so much gone?
And then,
the sacrament of waiting began.
The sunrise and sunset watched with tenderness.
clothing her with silhouettes
they kept her hope alive.

They helped her understand that
her vulnerability
her dependence and need
her emptiness
her readiness to receive
were giving her a new kind of beauty.
Every morning and every evening
they stood in silence
and celebrated together
the sacrament of waiting!

I've been reminded that in the waiting is an opportunity to glorify and worship the Lord. My "sacrament of waiting" is an act of beautiful worship that is witnessed by the cloud of witnesses in heaven. Not to mention those who are watching here on earth.