Here are a few short posts I'll combine into one post:
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JESUS GETS PHOTOGRAPHED
I heard a funny story today at the podiatrist's. All sorts of characters come in to get their feet dealt with each day. Today we had a sheep farmer - what do you call those people? Do we still call them shepards? Let's call him a shepard - for nostalgia's sake. Shepard got a call from a photographer in Baltimore. This photographer wanted to come to Shepard's farm to take pictures. She would bring Jesus. She wanted to take pictures of Jesus with the lambs. Shepard agrees to host the photographer and the Jesus-Stand-In. She will sell these photographs for hundreds of dollars each. She wants to give Shepard $300 for providing the landscape and lambs. Shepard declines. Jesus-Stand-In holds the lambs, cradles the lambs, is surrounded by lambs. I'm sure there's a cute little bunny near by too. Then the photographer asks the question we all know the answer to: "If Jesus-Stand-In would take a stroll, would the sheep follow him?"
No. Of course not - they don't know his voice.
Funny thing was, they followed him. Everywhere. Photographer asked if they could come back some day. Shepard told her of course. Jesus is coming back.
I asked the sheep farmer if Jesus-Stand-In had blue eyes. Did the guy even look Jewish? I told him the Bible says that Jesus had no physical attribute that would draw us to him - he wasn't that good looking apparently. The sheep farmer told me that Jesus-Stand-In was a model.
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Pagan's Easter
When I was a kid ...
... we got no toys for Easter.
Target sent us their Easter catalog in the mail today. It ticked me off. Before I met Jason I had no idea kids got toys on Easter. Seriously - when I was a kid we hunted eggs and ate the candy out of them. We were thrilled with the change we collected - less than 5 bucks.
What a distraction. And I don't have the money to buy toys - we just got through Christmas thankyouverymuch! We are only partial pagans. We love the candy and eggs. But not the bunny. Stupid bunny.
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What People Tell Me:
"Don't get old." (how does one respond to that?)
"Mommy, you forgot your cell phone - you just weren't thinking."
"You're how old? - You look like you're twelve!"
"You've been married how long?"
"Are you the doctor?" (Yes, I'm Dougie Houser)
"Mommy! I wounded a bird!"
"It hurts. But now that your pressing on it - it doesn't hurt. Weeellll, it kind of hurts - no, no it doesn't." Doctor walks in. "Doctor, it hurts."
9 comments:
Oh my gosh, this post was so much FUN! It was like a buffet! And buffets are filled with food! And I LOVE food (and would never, EVER waste a buffet and get one plate like you)! So, I really, REALLY LOVE this post!
What people tell me section is priceless!!! Oh my gosh, so hilarious! If you look 12 now, then when you're 80 people will think you're totally young, like only 47 or something. And that's just awesome!
The Jesus stand in was... a model! That was an awesome line to end it on, I love it!
Oh this post was a blast. Time to read it again!
Good stuff!
Pretty funny that the sheep followed him. Why didn't he accept the $300?
I thought you liked bunnies? We didn't get toys for Easter either. And my kids only get toys from my husband's parents. We give them about 5 eggs to find. :)
Kim gets the "you look so young" thing a lot. I used to hear it.... :( I guess I got old. It had to happen some day.
What a fun read today!
Easter is becoming commercial and plastic like Christmas...... however, I did receive a real Easter Bunny every year.....something my father made into a tradition.
Easter Egg hunts are the way to go!
You look young Knocker! If you worked with with old people like I do, they'd say the same thing about you! I don't get carded much anymore. So I guess actual young people don't think I look young.
He never told us why he didn't take the money - I guess he didn't feel comfortable taking money from the Jesus-stand-in.
Oh, I totally get the "how can you have three kids" question all. the. time. Of course, like you, I started really early (I was 21 as well). Now it seems like, when we reveal our ages, people simply say, "oh, so you are as young as you look". I haven't been carded since I turned 30, it's a little sad!
My favorite has always been, "oh, my, you sure have your hands full".
I always wanted to say, "what exactly do you mean"?
You could really make a great metaphor out of the Jesus stand-in, how people (like sheep) easily follow false teachings (aka a Jesus stand-in).
I admit, we give our kids presents for Easter, with just a small bunny from Fitzkee's...we're trying to cut down on candy consumption, we don't have dental insurance and we probably spend at least $3000 a year on dental care.
Kirsten ~ we don't have dental insurance either! And I love your Jesus-stand-in metaphor. I didn't go that deep - I just thought story was funny - but it's so true! Cool. Now I wish I would have thought deeper and made a cool post out of it! Oh well.
my fav is the last one....about someone trying to decide if it hurts or not:) lol
we give our kids some things for easter....i don't really give them candy though..usually a box of animal cracker, or small bag of m&m's. and gum...they love gum and that stuff helps to prevent cavities you know:) last year they got water bottles ...that was a huge hit (the reusable kind)...so i will probably do that again with some type of kiddo devotional for each kid.
I think your posts are always deep...that was just something that struck me when I was reading it.
I can't easily share my feelings (I admire that you can)....that's why I usually only discuss food.
Thank you all for sharing what you do for Easter - I love readiing the different ideas! Lisa, did you have a collection of bunnies after a few years or did they die off fairly easily? I'm just imagining a lot of bunnies! That would be a cool gift to get. We have a rabit right now, she's so cute - although a bit of a mess. We like this bunny, we had a previous bunny that was not quite "right".
I like the water bottle and gum idea too. And we get a couple "chocolate makers" (I won't write their last names) patients in at our office - they brought in chocolate for Christmas and Easter!
Maybe I'll buy my kids toothpaste & toothbrushes for Easter.
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