Agression In The Aisles

Boy, do I wish I had my camera with me the day we ventured from our safe hideaway in the woods to the rude, rowdy, & violent free-for-all in the big city! So you'll just have to imagine a picture under this sentence of a woman with a determined plow-them-all-over with my wide Sam's Club cart attitude.






There! Do you see that? Do you see her red eyes staring straight in front of her - not looking at anybody but focusing on some unseen swastika in the sky? (except we were in the Sam's club - so no sky) Take notice to the bulging veins in her hands as she grasps the handlebar of the extra wide Sam's Club cart. Notice how her mouth is pressed together in a straight line and how her thick black eyebrow (I'm slightly envious) form a "V" in the middle of her forehead. Do you see the smoke steaming out of her ears?

Me, the hubby, & kids decided to get out of the house & travel into civilization. We needed to stock up on some items at the Sam's Club. Oh my goodness - we've never seen it so busy! Are we really in a recession? As we were traveling along the bakery area with our extra wide Sam's Club cart, we were nearly side-swiped by the Swastika lady with her extra wide Sam's Club cart. "Phew!" I told hubby, "That was a close call!" We continue on our way, every now & then spotting the lady with "V" shaped unibrow as she parts the shoppers like Moses parted the Red Sea. One scary moment came when I sensed the stare of her red eyes boring into my neck and I felt the vibrations in the air as she plowed forth from behind us. "oh my goodness hubby," I say to my hubby, "the evil lady is right behind us and we need to move over NOW! For the kids hubby - for the sake of the kids - just let her go by!" Hubby stubbornly holds his ground and won't pull over. In fact, he SLOWS DOWN! I'm panicking - we're going to cause a scene! Finally, just in time, hubby backs down and pulls the extra wide Sam's Club cart over - I grab Hurricane EE & pull him to safety just as the evil swastika lady plods past. "Let's get back to the country," my hubby suggests.

We won't be going back there anytime soon. And let's not get me going about our grocery shopping experience at Giant! Is it just me, or has road rage spilled over into the aisles at the grocery stores?