Take Over Me (again and again and again ... )

In C.S. Lewis' book, The Screwtape Letters, there is an intriguing correspondense that takes place between a demon and his apprentice. The apprentice shares with his mentor his success in leading a young believer away from his faith. He is celebratory and prideful of his accomplishment. The reply that his mentor gives him is interesting and very revealing of the true nature of evil's lack of eternal power and God's ultimate sovereignty and the promise he gives his children. The mentor writes back to his apprentice, telling him that he might have been successful this time, but that the annoying habit of believers is this - they always return to their Maker. The best that they can do is to help them walk away, but they cannot prevent them from returning to the Lord.

It is so frustrating to me when I walk away, even briefly. I berate myself. I feel like I'm disappointing God and that he's displeased with me. Maybe this is part of Satan's attack. He might not be able to prevent us from returning to the Lord, but he can manipulate how we view God's response. Disappoint God? Wouldn't that indicate a lack of knowledge that I would walk away to begin with? Nothing I do could surprise him. And he forgave me of everything way back in the beginning. Did the father of the prodical son feel displeasure? He was celebratory! He was loving! He was inviting! He was joyous!

Over and over and over again. I walk away. Over and over and over again, I return. This will continue, this cyclical behavior, until I die. That's the result of the Fall, and that's the power of His Love. "... I am only closer and closer to where I want to be." This pattern is not circular, it's a spiral. Closer and closer to Him.

Oh how I love him because he first loved me. How I love him because he is beyond comprehension.