What This Christmas Brings

My mentor asked me what I thought Jesus was inviting me to this Christmas, how would He like for me to celebrate His advent?

I'm still not sure. 

This time of year has rarely (at least in my adult years) been a time of pure glee - where Jesus' birth brings me happiness without heaviness.  How can a person celebrate the true meaning of Christmas without thoughts on Easter?  This baby that was born 2 thousand years ago - He's the blood offering.  He is God.  And God left heaven to put skin on.  And was confined & limited to bodily functions.  He was perfect.  And gave Himself completely to others.  And we killed Him - this once cute cuddly baby.  We used to sing happy birthday to Jesus sometimes on Christmas.  The thought make me cringe.  Jesus was born to die for us.  I can't adequately express my thoughts here. 

But then I am reminded that He rose from the dead.  The grave was not the end.  And that is where my happiness lies.  This year His resurrection is so deeply meaningful to me.  I've got family and friends that I'm waiting to be reunited with.  My heart is not only with those that are here, it will forever be with those who have gone on ahead of me.  Heaven means so much more to me than ever before.  And death means so much less.   

So what is Jesus inviting me to this Christmas?  Honestly I need to spend time with Him to get the answer - and I haven't done that yet.  But I know it has something to do with Light and Life. 

What is He inviting you to?

I Need Replacement Children

You would think that by now, at their ripe old ages and wide expanse of picture posing knowledge, taking their holiday portrait would be a breeze.  And hey, there's only two of them.

Sigh.  Life is not that uncomplicated.  And children must be physically placed and well directed.  And threatened.  Then bribed. 

No, we did not get that perfect portait today.  But we did get some fun ones.

My Tom & Jerry.

Random Wonder #32

"Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars,


and they pass by themselves without wondering."
                                                                     ~ Saint Augustine

We are God's greatest masterpiece.  What have you overlooked?

Trying to Achieve Simplicity

All I can say - Thank goodness for crockpot meals.

A White Winter?

I've heard tell, (the podiatry office is a great source of information), that winter snow amounts are being estimated between 30 - 60 inches total this coming season.  And based on our results so far, (it not even being winter yet), I'd have to say there's a good chance of this prediction being true.  However, it seems like many years since we've had a good blizzard.  And with global warming and all, maybe this is our last snow storm?  I've tried to pay attention to the catepillar's fur (level of thickness depicts level of winter snow), but those things are just too fast and get away before I can look close enough.

We began our day yesterday with a trip to the Mcphereson's tree farm.  It snowed/rained while we attempted to find that perfectly shaped, full - yet not too full, non holey, non dead pine needle Christmas tree.  The kids wanted a huge tree.  I wanted a Charlie Brown pine.  But I never get my way.  And once again our tree looks half naked because I'm too cheap to buy new ornaments and I'm too fearful to go into crowed post holiday stores to buy cheap ornaments.  Most of our ornaments are kid created & kid hung, which drives the beauty & design loving side of me crazy.  The sentimental side of me tries to convince the other side that it's okay, breath, these are lovely, and hey, they're cheap. 

I told Little Miss to make sure she doesn't hang all the ornaments on the bottom of the tree (she has this nasty habit), and what did she do?  She covered the bottom and then covered the top, at least as far up as she could reach.  Because we have a 95 ft. tree.  Okay, maybe I exaggerate.  I needed a glass of wine.  So what if it was only 1 o'clock in the afternoon?  It was snowing beautifully, we were decorating and celebrating, (or trying to), and a glass of wine would compliment the spirit quite wonderfully. 

After the 4th glass of wine, the spirit finally hit.  (Oh please, I'm just kidding - I only had one glass I swear, only I don't swear because I'm being blogger friendly). 

I'm a conflicted schizophrenic.  I don't want to be in the holiday mood.  I don't want to love our redneck neighbors' Christmas displays.  I don't want to want to decorate our own house for Christmas.  Why ever not?  You might ask.  I guess part of me doesn't want to enjoy this awesome time of year because not everyone is here with us.  Not everyone can celebrate with us this year.  And I just want to fast-forward to May.  Except I don't.  Because then, as each holiday and milestone passes again, I won't be able to keep from my mind the memory of the 1st year, the 1st year without her, and where I was, and how I delt with the grief.  Christmas and the week after will be desolate.  My side of the family are going to be elsewhere.  Except for Mom & Dad.  The Christmas traditions have ended.  Or at least been put on hold.  And they won't be the same if we should decide to start them up again.  The empty chair is obvious.  Except it's not just one, it's most of the chairs.  I'm not sure if it would have been more comforting if we did things like we've done in the past.  It probably would hurt even more.  Who knows?  We've not gone through this situation before. 

But I can't help but love the lights, the yard decor, even the holiday music (which I now listen to all the hours I work).  Hubby, uncharacteristically, decided to put up icecycle lights on our house this year!  And my house looks very festive with all my decorations out.  I still love this season.  It hurts to get Christmas cards in the mail - I don't know why this is.  I'll chalk it up to my schizophrenia.  But my house looks nice, the snow is beautiful, and things are "looking up".

The 12 Days Of Christmas

This song gets old quick, but in honor of my Grandma and maybe to illicit a few chuckles from you, I decided to write out our family's version.

On the 1st day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 2nd day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 3rd day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bannaner icecream

On the 4th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bannaner puddin'

On the 5th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 6th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 7th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

7 breaded flounder

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 8th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

8 crocheted afghans

7 breaded flounder

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 9th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

                            9 9 9 loucks place  (her's and Grandpa's address)

8 crocheted afghans

7 breaded flounder

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheas

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 10th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

10 cans of Pringles

9 9 9 Loucks Place

8 crocheted afghans

7 breaded flounder

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 11th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

11 campers camping

10 cans of Pringles

9 9 9 Loucks Place

8 crocheted afghans

7 breaded flounder

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

On the 12th day of Christmas

my Grandma gave to me:

12 pounds of fudge

11 campers camping

10 cans of Pringles

9 9 9 Loucks Place

8 crocheted afghans

7 breaded flounder

6 second knee rides

5 swats at the woodshed

4 knuckleheads

3 muligrubs

2 scoops of icecream

and a bowl of bananner puddin'

We had so much fun (us grown-up kids) coming up with those verses on Sunday night!  Looking at the list, I guess we all really appreciated Grandma's taste in food!  And don't worry, Grandma never took us out to the woodshed to swat us - it was just something she always said to make us laugh nervously.  And I don't know where to put the "n's" in bananna.  Oh, and Dan sung solo every time it came to 5 swats at the woodshed. 

Slideshow Of Our Weekend

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Get your own

Family started rolling in on Friday evening.  We spent Saturday with Luke, Gretchen, Evan, Braden, Rhea, and Dan.  Dan took them to the paintball field and then to Chickie's Rock while Gretchen and I went to the grocery store and then to Michelle's memorial.  On Sunday the rest of my family made their way in from Ohio.  We had our Thanksgiving feast at my Dad's church, and then went to Sam Louis park to climb the rocks.  That evening we all headed to my house - all 29 of us (most of us being kids).  Thank goodness the weather was warm!  The kids spent a lot of time running around outside. Us adult kids talked about Grandma and our memories of her.  We also came up with different lyrics to the Twelve Days of Christmas, in honor of Grandma, and then sung that song at the reception after the funeral.  Perhaps I'll post our lyrics.  Monday was the funeral.  And then most of the family went home.  It was a special Thanksgiving.